All through high school we are told that we have a decision to make, the most important decision we will ever have to make: what will we do with our lives?
I graduated high school two years ago now, but I still have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. It’s becoming a major source of stress for me and as crazy as it sounds, I actually get so scared that if I don’t decide soon, I’ll be a failure.
I must have been one of the only students going through the HSC exams that wasn’t actually ripping their hair out from stress. It’s like I had this strong sense of optimism hit me so suddenly. You could say I had an epiphany of sorts. I thought to myself ‘it doesn’t matter how I go in these exams, this won’t determine the rest of my life. It can’t.’ If I decide that I want to go to University, I’ll find a way. If I want to be successful, I’ll find a way. With this knew philosophy in mind, I sat my exams with a new calmness, and didn’t let my average results affect me.
Was this attitude a bad idea? Probably. Do I regret it? No. I still believe I can do anything I want to do, I just have to work for it. It’s more fun that way. There’s just one problem… I have no damn clue about what I even want to do.
When I was in primary school, my class was asked to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up. Some girls drew princesses, others drew ballerinas.
I drew an explorer.
My life at the time consisted of playing ‘Barbie explorer’ on my PS1 and repeatedly watching Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones. I wanted to be Lara Croft, I wanted to travel the world while uncovering ancient treasures and occasionally kicking some ass. It always was the dream job for me, still is actually. Sadly however, it wasn’t long before I realised that this dream job would only ever be just that: a dream. Flying off on a new adventure every other week would require quite a lot of dough. No wonder Lara Croft was rich as hell. Not to mention the fact that every speck of this planet has already been discovered long ago. So there goes that idea.
During my senior years of high school, event management was starting to gain some appeal. How fun would it be to plan weddings? So fun! Then my urge to travel re-emerged and a career in tourism started to look promising, maybe I could be a tour guide in Italy? Or Rome? Or France? Oh gosh. Eventually however, even that idea begun to fade and I spent the first six months after high school having run out of ideas.
What was I going to do? I couldn’t sit around any longer. Then, just like all great ideas, it came to me late one night when I couldn’t sleep. I would work in an office. I would start a career in business administration and I would study this at TAFE. So I did. Within the next few days I was enrolled in the course and in less than a fortnight, my course was underway.
I caught on fast, using these computer programs was easy. It also helped that I was already a fast typer. That crazy ability to type without looking at the keyboard was just within my grasp too. Everything was so simple. Yay!
It wasn’t until I worked a trial shift in an automotive services building that I started to doubt the appeal of administration. I carried out the typical tasks of an office assistant. Sorting files wasn’t so bad, making appointments was a piece of cake too. Answering phones mortified me however. The phone would ring and my heart would stop. I would often have to ask the caller to repeat things. That was bad. The owner of the business asked me to get the stapler. I felt so much pressure that I literally searched the whole room before being told the stapler was right next to me. I don’t think I want to work in an office anymore… Not that it bothers me, how could a boring office job ever be the dream job?
Since then, other possibilities have passed through my mind. Maybe I could be a novelist? A fashion designer? A professional blogger? A model? An animal attendant? Maybe I could run an online website?
Maybe one day I’ll settle on a career option and it will determine the rest of my life. Or maybe my life will consist of changing careers when I get bored. Who knows. I just know that my success will require a huge amount of hard work.
But that’s the fun part.